How much of what I do is not for me but for my children? I’m tempted to say the majority. We live in a place not because we like the house but the schools. We drive long distances to get them to soccer and dance. We plan our weeks around dinner and sitting together at the same table, which isn’t so easy given the aforementioned soccer and dance. We monitor what they consume for meals. We monitor what they consume on YouTube. We monitor their sleep, what they wear, when they leave and when they will come back. We must repeatedly remind them to brush their teeth and bathe. Why is it so difficult to convince them that showering is NOT optional?!

My wife and I are all-up-and-in our kids' lives.

Yet, the most important thing is still uncontrollable. My children and yours, our children, will have many relationships. From school, the neighborhood, teams and activities. It will be filled with children, like them, and older adolescents and adults. They will be taught, implicitly and explicitly, literally, all manner of thought and being. Is it acceptable to cheat, you know, just a little, to get the advantage? Is it okay to not fulfill an obligation if something else comes up? What if I really REALLY want it?  What is best in life?

That’s the role of parents, to have an idea of what is best in life. Not that we have all the answers, but mine are better than my children’s, at least. 

That’s the role of God. He made us and knows what is best for us. 

That’s the role of the Church. To come together to live our life together. Together as parents still trying to figure it out and to learn from those who have gone before us, and help those who are coming behind. 

Church is not one more thing on the list of things that has to be done. Church is not another obligation. It is the tool with which we get through life. For me there is much to be said about support and friendship and love, on the adult level. But for our children we are building a community that they can take with them. When the world tells them that they must act a certain way or project a specific attitude to fit in, our children have a community that speaks the Truth. Our Church is a place where our children can be loved and love on each other not because of the perfectly curated Instagram feed. They can be who God is making them into and don’t have to fear ostracism if they don’t meet the requirements.

These aren’t hypotheticals. There are some very compelling arguments being made that, for our teen and pre-teen children, the world is a dangerous place. Not from violence or disease but from our social setting. Social media has changed how we and our children interact. There is a very real rewiring of our culture. The answer is still the same: Jesus

When we come together on Wednesdays. When we invite each other over for playdates and game nights, we aren’t passing time, we are forging the very armor of God for our children.